Next Level.
Last week I was texting my friend who is a pastor's wife and someone that I greatly admire and look up to. She has four young kids and has helped answer all of my questions through pregnancy and birth. She's been an inspiration to me for the past 7 years because of her wealth of knowledge and experience! I decided to ask her about her involvement in ministry as we haven't talked about that much. With having four young children and being a pastor's wife it's been difficult to be deeply involved in the church as there has been a lot on her plate already. She told me that she helps as much as she can and is getting more involved now that her kids are getting bigger. She's never taken on anything as her own yet. Now that Henley is here that's exactly what I feel led to do.
Recently I've been trying to overcome my church hurt. I went to Bible College, have been attending church for a decade now, worked for religious nonprofit organizations, served in various aspects of ministries, and have been hurt along the way. I'm sure this happens more often than not and many people leave the ministry because of it. If you research the statistics of pastors who leave the ministry within the first 5-7 years it's staggering. I wouldn't say that I ever left the ministry or church, but I've experienced burnout, spiritual abuse, condemnation, and extreme discouragement.
This process hasn't been something I just decided to wake up and go through, but it is something I have grown through. It's odd because while I was in a residential facility getting counseling we talked through a lot of these issues and I came out renewed and refreshed, but the hurt still lingered. It wasn't completely gone. I think the best way to describe it is that I lost sight of my calling. I listened to the lies I was told and really started looking for a different career path.
Any time I would get discouraged about the current job I was in, I found enjoyment in googling different careers and their annual salaries. At one point I have researched the salaries of a dental hygienist, transcriptionist, general surgeon, personal trainer, etc. I researched anything that could actually pay well and pay back the student loan debt I accumulated from a Bible College degree that I wasn't really using. Sure, I was involved in ministry and helping out at church wherever I could, but I had lost the desire and passion to go into full time ministry.
I don't know why this suddenly happened to me, but it's like something shifted while I was taking a break from church with a newborn. For the last few months I've stayed home with Henley from church as much as I could just to cocoon her from getting sick. Every Sunday morning I would listen to Pastor John Gray's church, Relentless Church, and livestream it on the TV. I love their worship because they have Tasha Cobbs, Gospel singer, as a worship leader there and it's so anointed! I got obsessed with watching her on YouTube.
The more I stayed home with Henley, the more the messages touched me in places I thought had already been healed. I prayed all of the prayers at the alter calls of the messages and really got excited about God and church again. After talking to my friend, listening to these messages, and reading the Bible (and I mean really reading and studying it) I feel a fire stirring within me to serve God and learn to love again in a very real way. I decided it was time to remember my calling.
One day last week I sensed the Holy Spirit speak the words "next level" to me. At the time I had just began reading a book about taking your health to the next level. The next morning I turned on the TV to watch a sermon and I (oddly) chose Pastor Joel Osteen's church's livestream instead of Relentless Church as it was my go to as of lately. That morning he had a guest speaker, Pastor Erwin McManus from Mosaic Church in LA. I had first heard him speak while I was in the residential home in California at a church conference we attended. I knew he was going to be so good so I stayed tuned in! The message was exactly what I needed to hear and I was crying by the end of it. He, too, spoke the words "next level" in his sermon. I was in shock. Later I checked Instagram and Pastor John Gray's most recent post said "next level"! I was seeing this phrase everywhere! I even listened to my pastor's sermon on my phone the next day and he mentioned how God was "doing a new thing" found in Isaiah 43:19. All of this told me that God was taking me to the next level and he was going to use me in ministry in a different way.
Also - over the next two days this message was confirmed to me in many ways. Our church had an event coming up with the youth and he sent me the link to the website so I could check it out. The first words that popped up huge on the screen read "next level". The next day I was on Instagram and the page I was on led me to another page with a recent post that said "leveled up". I think I got the message by then. :) Haha!
During pregnancy I was telling James about my heart to do ministry (despite being hurt). We knew I'd be quitting my job and staying home with Henley and that would free me up to help in the church and serve with whatever they needed help with instead of having a full time job. A few days later I was given the opportunity to help with the nursery at church. This is huge because it is going to bless me in ways I can't even explain! After discussing it with James this was the "next level" thing that's happening. The nursery is already the current season of life I am in so it's very fitting! I also help with the youth worship team and will jump back into that soon, on top of helping James lead children's church.
I feel like I'm rambling, but the point is that when you are willing and when the time is right, God is going to use you and appoint you to do something great for Him. He's going to present to you opportunities you couldn't have thought of yourself. While you're looking for a way out of your calling, He's working things in the background that you know nothing about.
God restored some of my church hurts and I realized I had to release them and just get over them because God was calling me to do something more and I couldn't if I didn't want to get to that next level. God showed me that was what I truly wanted, to go to the next level. My passion for God and the Word suddenly renewed as I cracked open that Bible again. I can sense the Holy Spirit more than ever during worship. God is giving me a love for doing kid's church alongside James that hasn't been this intense before. He's creating in me excitement over the events we have planned and what's to come in the future.
After I said yes to the next level I have since signed up for a book club for credentialed women that meets face to face for the next twelve weeks. We are reading a leadership book that I'm very excited about considering that was my major in college! I also reached out to my pastor to ask if I could become a part of the church staff meetings every week to feel more connected. I signed up for a Minister's Spiritual Renewal retreat in Branson with James. James and I also signed up for a Kidmin conference at James River next month. I've started looking up ideas to revamp the games for kid's church and have been researching new design ideas to renovate the building. This has been exceptionally fun for me because one of my strengths according to the Strengthfinder's test is Developer. I've also planned out 4 months of events for the kids and am just so excited for what God has in store for the future of the church and what he's doing in my life.
Wherever you find yourself at in life, if you are willing, God will take you to the next level. Ask him what that is, and just say yes to it.
Recently I've been trying to overcome my church hurt. I went to Bible College, have been attending church for a decade now, worked for religious nonprofit organizations, served in various aspects of ministries, and have been hurt along the way. I'm sure this happens more often than not and many people leave the ministry because of it. If you research the statistics of pastors who leave the ministry within the first 5-7 years it's staggering. I wouldn't say that I ever left the ministry or church, but I've experienced burnout, spiritual abuse, condemnation, and extreme discouragement.
This process hasn't been something I just decided to wake up and go through, but it is something I have grown through. It's odd because while I was in a residential facility getting counseling we talked through a lot of these issues and I came out renewed and refreshed, but the hurt still lingered. It wasn't completely gone. I think the best way to describe it is that I lost sight of my calling. I listened to the lies I was told and really started looking for a different career path.
Any time I would get discouraged about the current job I was in, I found enjoyment in googling different careers and their annual salaries. At one point I have researched the salaries of a dental hygienist, transcriptionist, general surgeon, personal trainer, etc. I researched anything that could actually pay well and pay back the student loan debt I accumulated from a Bible College degree that I wasn't really using. Sure, I was involved in ministry and helping out at church wherever I could, but I had lost the desire and passion to go into full time ministry.
I don't know why this suddenly happened to me, but it's like something shifted while I was taking a break from church with a newborn. For the last few months I've stayed home with Henley from church as much as I could just to cocoon her from getting sick. Every Sunday morning I would listen to Pastor John Gray's church, Relentless Church, and livestream it on the TV. I love their worship because they have Tasha Cobbs, Gospel singer, as a worship leader there and it's so anointed! I got obsessed with watching her on YouTube.
The more I stayed home with Henley, the more the messages touched me in places I thought had already been healed. I prayed all of the prayers at the alter calls of the messages and really got excited about God and church again. After talking to my friend, listening to these messages, and reading the Bible (and I mean really reading and studying it) I feel a fire stirring within me to serve God and learn to love again in a very real way. I decided it was time to remember my calling.
One day last week I sensed the Holy Spirit speak the words "next level" to me. At the time I had just began reading a book about taking your health to the next level. The next morning I turned on the TV to watch a sermon and I (oddly) chose Pastor Joel Osteen's church's livestream instead of Relentless Church as it was my go to as of lately. That morning he had a guest speaker, Pastor Erwin McManus from Mosaic Church in LA. I had first heard him speak while I was in the residential home in California at a church conference we attended. I knew he was going to be so good so I stayed tuned in! The message was exactly what I needed to hear and I was crying by the end of it. He, too, spoke the words "next level" in his sermon. I was in shock. Later I checked Instagram and Pastor John Gray's most recent post said "next level"! I was seeing this phrase everywhere! I even listened to my pastor's sermon on my phone the next day and he mentioned how God was "doing a new thing" found in Isaiah 43:19. All of this told me that God was taking me to the next level and he was going to use me in ministry in a different way.
Also - over the next two days this message was confirmed to me in many ways. Our church had an event coming up with the youth and he sent me the link to the website so I could check it out. The first words that popped up huge on the screen read "next level". The next day I was on Instagram and the page I was on led me to another page with a recent post that said "leveled up". I think I got the message by then. :) Haha!
During pregnancy I was telling James about my heart to do ministry (despite being hurt). We knew I'd be quitting my job and staying home with Henley and that would free me up to help in the church and serve with whatever they needed help with instead of having a full time job. A few days later I was given the opportunity to help with the nursery at church. This is huge because it is going to bless me in ways I can't even explain! After discussing it with James this was the "next level" thing that's happening. The nursery is already the current season of life I am in so it's very fitting! I also help with the youth worship team and will jump back into that soon, on top of helping James lead children's church.
I feel like I'm rambling, but the point is that when you are willing and when the time is right, God is going to use you and appoint you to do something great for Him. He's going to present to you opportunities you couldn't have thought of yourself. While you're looking for a way out of your calling, He's working things in the background that you know nothing about.
God restored some of my church hurts and I realized I had to release them and just get over them because God was calling me to do something more and I couldn't if I didn't want to get to that next level. God showed me that was what I truly wanted, to go to the next level. My passion for God and the Word suddenly renewed as I cracked open that Bible again. I can sense the Holy Spirit more than ever during worship. God is giving me a love for doing kid's church alongside James that hasn't been this intense before. He's creating in me excitement over the events we have planned and what's to come in the future.
After I said yes to the next level I have since signed up for a book club for credentialed women that meets face to face for the next twelve weeks. We are reading a leadership book that I'm very excited about considering that was my major in college! I also reached out to my pastor to ask if I could become a part of the church staff meetings every week to feel more connected. I signed up for a Minister's Spiritual Renewal retreat in Branson with James. James and I also signed up for a Kidmin conference at James River next month. I've started looking up ideas to revamp the games for kid's church and have been researching new design ideas to renovate the building. This has been exceptionally fun for me because one of my strengths according to the Strengthfinder's test is Developer. I've also planned out 4 months of events for the kids and am just so excited for what God has in store for the future of the church and what he's doing in my life.
Wherever you find yourself at in life, if you are willing, God will take you to the next level. Ask him what that is, and just say yes to it.
"Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
- Isaiah 43:19, ESV
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